Two For The Show
by Katseester
Summary: Finding civilization in the tangled mess of the forest was apparently the last thing on Kakashi's mind. Groping every inch of Tenzou's body was apparently the first. 50 sentence/drabble prompts.


I was held at gunpoint by **Deviant Nation** to write this. So I took my set of prompts, and she took hers, and I wrote mine, and she wrote hers. Except hers are longer and more emo than mine. Mine are...fluffy? Humorous? Call them what you will. Not single sentences because I don't feel like going by the internet rules.

Kinda-sorta stole the title from Deviant Nation because I'm calling this a joint project between us. Be flattered, Deviant Nation, be flattered.  
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01. Focus

It was really, really, _really_ hard to focus on completing a mission report when Kakashi walked into the room completely naked. Why he was naked, Tenzou didn't know, but he decided not to dwell on it. The mission report could wait.

02. Civilization

Finding civilization in the tangled mess of the forest was apparently the last thing on Kakashi's mind. Groping every inch of Tenzou's body was apparently the first.

03. Sink

Three months, one week, and five days. That's how long the kitchen sink had been broken. Tenzou had gone for _three godfosaken months_ washing the dishes in the bathroom sink, all because Kakashi was too much of an arrogant prick to admit he couldn't fix it and just call a goddamn repairman.

04. Bullet

Kakashi knew his life had bitten the proverbial bullet when Tenzou kicked him onto the couch that night in a fit of rage. He decided it would be best to get acquainted with the plaid material, because until he apologized for his (and I quote) "disgusting, lewd, and unjustifiable behaviour", there was no way Tenzou would allow him back in the bedroom. It was going to be a long week getting acquainted with the plaid, and all for a little grope...

05. Count

Tenzou had lost count of the amount of times Kakashi had "accidentally" knocked him into a janitor's closet and then "accidentally" locked the door in the ensuing confusion.

06. Mental

Sometimes Kakashi wondered if he'd be better off locked up in a mental institution if it meant he didn't have to listen to Tenzou's drunken ramblings. He always decided against it, though, because Tenzou's drunken ramblings most times lead to drunken (and often sloppy) kisses, which then almost always lead to drunken sex.

07. Coast

Tenzou didn't know _where_ Kakashi had gotten the bike (and he didn't particularly _want _to know either), but he _did_ know that Kakashi had no idea how to drive it, if the way they kept coasting to the middle of the road was any indication. And from his very precarious position perched upon the handlebars, Tenzou would be surprised if he lived to make it home.

08. Fence

A D-Rank mission. Tsunade had somehow conned them into doing a _D-Rank mission_. To _paint a fence_. And Kakashi had _accepted_. And what was _worse_ was that _he_, Tenzou, was the one doing all the work while Kakashi lazed idly under a tree and read his porn. Tenzou's grip on the paintbrush tightened. He knew a certain _someone_ who was going to be sleeping on the couch tonight...

09. Circle

There was a dark circle under Kakashi's one visible eye the morning after he returned from a mission with Tenzou. No one asked why.

10. Thin

Kakashi suspected he was treading on thin ice when he inadvertently made a comment about the tightness of Tenzou's new uniform. His suspicions were solidified, however, when he returned home to a locked door and a missing key.

11. Room

No matter how hard he tried to keep the place clean, if Tenzou left Kakashi at home for a day he'd return to each and every room looking like a bomb went off.

12. Blaze

When Tenzou returned home that evening from a mission debriefing with the Hokage, he found his apartment ablaze and Kakashi standing innocently outside with a cup of burned ramen noodles. That was the last time he ever let Kakashi cook.

13. Thought

Tenzou _really _didn't appreciate the way Kakashi always interrupted his thoughts _every single time_ he needed Tenzou to open a can for him because the idiot didn't know how to use a can opener. To be honest, he was pretty sure that Kakashi actually _did_ know how to do it himself, but apparently his laziness and habit of bothering him for no good reason always seemed to prevail. He sighed, got up, and went to open the can anyways.

14. Jealous

Tenzou was in no mood for this. It had been a _long, hard_ day and he was _in no mood for this_. He shifted his eyes between Kakashi and Sai, who was in an appalling state of undress, and a vein throbbed in his forehead.

What concerned him more than the fact that the two were here _alone_, however, was the fact that Sai was wearing lingerie and questioning him naively about his "wardrobe" choice, which Kakashi had pulled from _that_ drawer in the bedroom. He wasn't sure how to explain to the boy that _no_, the bra and underwear weren't his, and _NO_, he did _not_ wear things like that on a regular basis.

_No_, he was _not_ jealous, but it had been that kind of day, and he was _in no mood for this._

If Sai ever showed up at his apartment dressed like that again, Tenzou would be more than willing to put the poor kid out of his misery.

15. Sand

There was sand everywhere. At the moment, Tenzou hated sand. He hated it because it got between his toes and stuck. He hated it because the blowing winds of the desert whipped it painfully at his exposed skin. And he hated it _especially_ because Kakashi had just dumped a pile of it down the back of his pants as a joke.

16. Doll

If Kakashi likened Tenzou to a doll, he'd be lying. He did it anyways. The next day, he showed up to the mission room sporting a swollen cheek.

17. Curl

Kakashi eyed the curl in Tenzou's newly developed moustache and devised a plan to chop it off.

18. Farewell

Tenzou bid a longing farewell to his slowly-fading sanity the moment he agreed (drunkenly, he might add) to let Kakashi move in with him.

19. Story

"...And that, children, is how you were all are made."

As the kid closest to them began to whimper, Tenzou decided it was best never to let Kakashi tell anyone a bedtime story ever again.

20. Soft

Now that he thought about it, Tenzou couldn't recall a time when Kakashi had kissed him softly. So the next time Kakashi tried to eat his face off, Tenzou smacked him, and then kissed him. Softly.

21. Pool

They're really _really_ drunk. And they're talking, laughing, and drinking some more. Tenzou isn't quite sure of his surroundings (he's perhaps more drunk than Kakashi is, but he doesn't care because they're having a good time either way), and then Kakashi leans over and _kisses_ him, just like that, and Tenzou thinks slowly how long he's been waiting for that to happen.

But, far too soon for his liking (and certainly with bad timing), nausea pools in his stomach and roils up like a coiled spring, forcing Tenzou to break away and run clumsily to the sink where he throws up his lunch and supper.

It takes him over a week to convince Kakashi that _no,_ he hadn't thrown up in disgust, and _yes_, he had enjoyed it.

22. Serpent

Tenzou found that it was becoming more and more often that Kakashi would snake his arm around his waist in public. He also found that it was becoming increasingly difficult to stop him from doing it.

23. Prey

For the longest time, Kakashi had seen Tenzou as nothing more than prey he would seduce. It was after a while of stalking the man that he realized he wanted something more.

24. Friend

If someone asked Tenzou if he and Kakashi were friends, he'd turn a bright colour of red and say no. If someone asked him if they were_ more_ than friends, he'd turn a bright colour of red, stutter incoherently for a moment and say yes, before turning tail and fleeing.

25. Still

Five hours. They'd been sitting on a _wall_ for over five hours. And _still_ the man they were targeting had not passed by. Tenzou resisted the urge to rub his sore behind, and looked over to Kakashi. The man didn't even _look_ like he was uncomfortable; in fact, he was reading his porn.

26. Exhausted

It was in an exhausted manner that Tenzou closed the door behind him and uttered "tadaima..."

It was in an enthusiastic manner that Kakashi dragged Tenzou to the bedroom and reminded him of all the things he had forgotten while on his mission.

27. Bold

If Tenzou were bold and hard-headed, he would have refused to pay the large bill Naruto had managed to rack up at the ramen stand. As it was, he _wasn't_ bold and hard-headed, so he payed the bill and tried to ignore Kakashi's muffled snort of laughter.

28. Hook

Tenzou likes it when Kakashi sort of embraces him from behind (he says "sort of" because all Kakashi really does is hook his thumbs into Tenzou's pockets and rest his chin on his shoulder). He just won't admit it.

29. Attraction

It took a long time for Tenzou to admit his attraction to Kakashi. In fact, he was in hard denial until they took a trip to the bath house and Tenzou saw Kakashi sans clothing. After that disastrous trip, he knew his love-life was doomed.

30. Will

It was through pure will alone that Tenzou disengaged himself from Kakashi, moments before the door opened and the Hokage entered for their scheduled meeting. She eyed the both of them, took in their disheveled appearances, sighed, and left.

31. Bed

Tenzou hadn't realized how comfortable his bed was until he was forced to sleep on the couch. Evidently, making a passing comment about how Kakashi's little minion-dogs smelled hadn't been such a good idea. What was worse, though, was that Tenzou would have to _apologize_, and he had no idea how to.

32. Bell

Tenzou thought Kakashi was joking when he challenged him to touch the bell. Apparently, he wasn't. And after three hours and many failed attempts, Tenzou was beginning to think Kakashi was having a bit _too_ much fun, especially since the stakes of losing was a dinner-date with Gai.

33. Joy

There was a suppressed feeling of pitiful joy tingling down Tenzou's spine as he watched Kakashi clean the house for once. Then there was a full-out feeling of pity ballooning inside him as he realized that he shouldn't be quite this happy.

34. Decade

It was a sad indeed that the marvel of the decade was what was hidden beneath Kakashi's mask. Tenzou couldn't help but feel quite smug at this. After all, _he_ knew...

35. Test

It was a test of willpower, Tenzou decided, when Kakashi walked into the room in scant but a (very low-hanging) towel. And simply because Tenzou had been stupid enough to blurt: "You're not completely irresistable, sempai. Contrary to what you might think, I can and _will_ resist you."

Tenzou was beginning to regret those words.

36. Gentle

Sometimes, Tenzou wishes that Kakashi would be just a _bit_ more gentle with him. Especially when _Naruto_, of all people, can detect his _slight_ (and this point Tenzou insists upon) limp in the morning.

37. Hunger

There was no mistaking the hunger in Kakashi's eyes as he glared across the desk at Tenzou. So Tenzou, being the sensible man that he is, quickly excused himself from the meeting, hurried home, and cooked Kakashi dinner. There was no _way_ he was going to be on the receiving end of Kakashi's starving rage.

38. Mute

Sometimes Tenzou wished he had a mute button for Kakashi. Especially when the copy-nin felt it necessary to explain to his fellow jounins their sex life. In full detail.

39. Quicken

Kakashi didn't like how his heartbeat quickened its pace whenever he saw Tenzou. He stayed in denial for a few weeks, but when it was apparent that his heart just _would not behave_, he only had one thing to say: "Fuck."

40. Absence

There is no mistaking the droop in Tenzou's demeanor whenever Kakashi is absent. So much so, that sometimes the Hokage sends him home on the pretence of "being too depressing".

41. Maze

Tenzou feels a small sort of accomplishment for being one of the only people in Konoha able to find his way through the complex maze of Kakashi's emotions. That being said, Kakahis is more than able to find his way through Tenzou's less-than-complex and slighty-transparent lineage of thought. In fact, some days Kakashi jokes that he can read Tenzou like an open book. Tenzou doesn't know whether to be insulted or scared, so he just settles for both.

42. Close

It is when Kakashi is trying to seduce him in clear public that it takes all Tenzou has not to close the distance and just _punch _the fucker square across the jaw.

43. Reign

Tenzou was actually kind of glad that Kakashi was denied the position as Hokage. After all, who knew how long it would be before his reign of terror ended. And, considering how most (read: all) Hokages "retired", Tenzou thought Kakashi was perfect where he was.

44. Crush

After learning of his embarrassing and (to be frank) troublesome crush on Kakashi, Tenzou found it difficult to keep his face at room temperature whenever the copy-nin entered the vicinity. He was forced to make a bunch of lame excuses (the most believable being he had a fever, it was too hot out, he had just eaten a jalapeno pepper) for his burning cheeks, and sometimes he could swear that Kakashi was _laughing_ at him.

45. Run

Tenzou never thought he'd be running for his life from a lust-crazed Kakashi. Well, apparently fate had different plans for him, and Kakashi was _gaining on him_.

46. Art

Tenzou never understood why Kakashi liked reading those porn books. Kakashi claimed they were art. Tenzou claimed they were crap. That is, until Kakashi decided to show Tenzou the "artful" techniques he had learned from reading them. Needless to say, Tenzou never complained about the books again.

47. Pressure

Tenzou could feel everyone's eyes on him. He looked to the left. They were staring. He looked to the right. They were staring. A bead of sweat slowly rolled down the back of Tenzou's neck. He gulped. Fidgeted. Nearly twitched. Took all his willpower and planted it in his feet so he couldn't run away. Everyone was watching with bated breath. _Why was everyone holding their goddamn breath_?

Tenzou looked at the tiny box held in front of him. Let his eyes travel up the connecting arm to the connecting body to the connecting head. Opened his mouth. Closed it. Another bead of sweat rolled down the back of his neck.

Tenzou took a deep breath, and cracked under the pressure.

"Guh."

The man in front of him cocked his head. For another agonizing moment there was silence and staring and _bated goddamn breath_. And then he smiled.

"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" Kakashi said, putting the box in Tenzou's hand. Tenzou could only nod dumbly.

Reduced to such a state over one question. He'd never live it down.

48. Echo

Tenzou could've sworn he heard the soft echo of his dying sanity's pitiful cries for help when Kakashi asked him how to work the vacuum cleaner.

49. Heal (CRACK)

"Sempai, has anyone ever told you you're a terrible teacher?"

Kakashi looked confused, placed down his book, and shot his kohai a quizzical look. Tenzou merely shrugged, downed back another drink and nodded.

"Yeah," he drunkenly slurred. "I mean, Naruto is probably your only 'success', and even then you weren't the one to really train him, were you? Jiraiya-sama was. I mean, you showed him the basics, but hell, you can learn those moves from a textbook. Sasuke however...Well, fuck. You really screwed up there. You taught him your _only_ signature move, which he subsequently used to betray the village with and punched a hole through Naruto's stomach. And let's not forget Sakura. Good ole' useless Sakura. Yup, sempai. You're terrible."

Kakashi, who up until this point of time hadn't really thought about how much of a failure his team was, turned his back on Tenzou and started to cry.

50. Clear (slightly crack)

It isn't clear whether it was Tenzou or Kakashi who started their relationship. If one were to ask Tenzou, he'd say it was Kakashi. If one were to ask Kakashi, he'd say it was Tenzou. If one were to ask an outside source, they'd say who gives a fuck, as long as that's what they're doing? To which the asker would reply, touché, outside source, touché.

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Alright, so...as you can probably see, near the end everything is sort of half-assed because I just wanted to finish the damn thing and make Deviant Nation shut up about it. (Seriously, though, she harassed me every single day until I finished them.)

As for prompt 49 (heal)...yeah, I have no idea what the hell that's supposed to do with healing.


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